So yes, it's a new year. What is that going to mean for me? The times were so right for so very many things in 2018. Can I match that momentum/productivity/awakening? Does that even matter?
My thought for this year -a guide post - is to draw outside the lines. Do things in ways that feel strange and even "wrong", just to see where that takes me. Start in the middle. Paint my plans in watercolor, convey them through interpretive dance! Redefine my process completely. Be...process-less altogether. A little more undefined than refined. A little less precious with my words in the name of perfection. Because what is that anyway? It's most certainly not a universal concept - to all purveyors of my art; to other creators; to the Universe. Perfectionism is subjective across the entirety of its spectrum. Completely unworthy of attachment.
Process-less does not mean I go rogue or throw routine to the wayside. There is great impact with ritual and the knowing of how I get things made. It just means the lines are blurred and sometimes the Start and Finish lines shift places.
This will all feel new and scary and uncomfortable, sure. I've been following the rules my whole life. But it's sure to bring an exhale into my work as well. Holding my breath, smiling and sitting up tall has run its course. I need to fold and unfurl differently to see how flexibility feels.
So I'll start anywhere. Wherever. And without construct. It's so easy to wait for right timing; to keep collecting the material. (That can go on for months - if not a lifetime!) Because the materials are within me already - even if the note cards and sticky notes could use a little order. It's enough to get started, anyway. The work needs doing. It's not impacting anyone or being of service to this beautiful world of ours - until I begin.
In his book, "The Book of Awakening", poet and spiritual sage Mark Nepo captures this beautifully: "...this precious human birth is unrepeatable. So what will you do
today, knowing that you are one of the rarest forms of life to ever walk the earth? How will you carry yourself? What will you do with your hands? What will you ask and of whom?...(But) today you are precious and rare and awake. It ushers us into grateful living. It makes hesitation useless. Grateful and awake, ask what you need to know now. Say what you feel now. Love what you love now."
Maybe 2019 won't replicate last year, and that will be its reward. Because what are we in carbon copy to past experiences, but immobile. Unevolved. No, this year will be unique and filled with startling wonder - because I decide to live it that way. Even if the things I build (both shared and kept secret) come from no process at all.