[Newsletter Series (#11)]
I’ve been on a very fast track lately: generating newsletter and social content, finalizing my solo show, planning the next improv workshop, preparing for my Sweetwater reading and spinning around the hamster wheel that is networking for my new business.
Phew! It’s been a lot. And it’s been amazing. But I am totally and completely exhausted. Depleted. And I’ll be honest - initially, that felt really awful.
I mean, where did all the ideas go? Where’s the motivation and gusto to forge ahead into something new and different? When did I say my Creativity could take a (long overdue) vacation? Don’t I need her now more than ever, when I’m trying to get my work out of the office and into the world?
Apparently, that’s not what the Universe has planned for me right now. Instead, I am to rest and spend time with my kids and get refocused on my health and wellness. I am to take a hiatus and just allow and receive what’s next. I’m to relax into an understanding that I am exactly where I am meant to be.
All without self judgment. Which at first, felt close to impossible. Until I remembered my improv-inspired toolbox. Of course!
I closed my eyes and reached in, feeling around for a bit until I found what I needed: acceptance. Aha! This is it! Perfect.
We’ve talked about improvisers accepting “offers” in performance, to build meaningful stories together. The offer I’d been handed was to rest and take a break. I’d been running and writing and designing and DOing at breakneck speed. And now...some time off. Without judgment of myself or my abilities as a creative person.
Why? Because judgment shuts down a scene! Judgment leads to spiraling and second-guessing and paralysis. Sometimes it leads to depression too, however mild and in whatever form. Plain and simple: it does us no good, and when the alternative is acceptance, the allowing and receiving comes naturally.
Is all this easy? Hell no. It takes practice. Kind of like mindfulness. Or yoga. Or...improv.
What are you beating yourself up over right now? Have you set expectations around outcomes and achievements you actually can’t control? What is your inner judge telling you about your job/parenting/project performance? Is there an offer in there somewhere to just acquiesce and be? Will you challenge yourself to try a little acceptance on for size?
I woke up this morning tired and a little cranky. I had kids’ summertime schedules to shuffle, a newsletter to write and a workshop to plan. It’s almost 11am and I can mark two of the three off my list. Not too shabby.
And now? I’m going to sit outside in the sunshine for a while...to rest.