On Tuesday, I pulled out of a leadership program I’d committed to doing through April.
There, I said it.
I made the very hard decision to let it go for the sake of honoring what’s in alignment for me right now. In this moment. Not the moment I signed up for the program six months ago, or even whatever truths were mine last week, or the one before that.
I changed my mind, and my heart. And walking away from the commitment was the right thing to do. For me. Now.
Believe me, my inner meanies were there with the shame and the guilt and second-guessing; coming at me through their megaphones. Quitter! Just another one of your busy projects, huh? How dare you let them down…
Them? Who’s them? The other 122 program participants? The trainer? My husband and kids? My parents who raised me to believe seeing things all the way through is what’s best. Friends and social media followers?
Who is them?
Oh right. There is no them. It’s all a false belief based on my fears of who cares and who’s watching and who’s judging my life choices. And guess what? The only one judging is me! And what made sense for me at the start of this program shifted, so...I walked away.
Here’s the thing my dear friend and coach, Erin Reese, reminded me:
We are constantly unfolding and yes... changing. And that is not only okay, it’s human nature. I mean, maybe completion doesn’t always look the same way. Maybe my completion with this program was the lessons I learned mentoring my cohort partners or journaling about my process. Maybe I was “complete” when I submitted the application to join in the first place!
Who’s to say. And who really cares?
What I do know is that this commitment at this time doesn’t align with my joy. It felt heavier and heavier, until I laid it down and called it “complete”.
My dear friend and Everyday Leadership founder, Sharon Olken, shared this amazing quote with me the other day. And wow! How beautifully this captures what we’re talking about here. Grateful for conscious, wise, rock star women with messages this for all of us to hear. (Love you, Sharon!)
What about you, my dear Life Player? What commitments are weighing you down because they're covered in ‘shoulds’, or your perception of other peoples’ expectations?
What can you call complete?